My mum (bottom pic) has always been around. She's been the main family member in my kids life (apart from hubby and I) and they both have an amazing relationship with her.
They go for sleepovers on school holidays. They make play dough, they play computer games. They make lots of mess and they read stories together. They get SPOILT!!
Basically they get along like grandparents should with their grandchildren.
But it's always been easy for them to have a good relationship. Mum works at a school so is always around on school holidays. For the last 4 years we have lived close to mum and mum has been our main babysitter for the monsters. They know Grandma well and enjoyed spending 20 minutes trying to find her the perfect bunch of flowers for Mother's Day.
My mother in law is a little bit harder to explain.
Sadly she passed away just before my hubby turned 18. She had a long and horrible battle with cancer.
I never met her. My kids have never met her.
And yet I still find it so important for them to know her and have a relationship with her.
When hubby and I first got together I didn't know much about Elaine Currie. I knew she was Phil's mum and clearly a very strong woman to put up with 4 kids (the twin boys at the end being disastrously cheeky buggers!)
When Miss 5 came along we decided Elaine had to meet her very first grandchild. So when Kaitlyn was only weeks old we went to the cemetery and said g'day.
When Mr 3 came along (after he was out of hospital roughly 4 weeks of age) he was taken to the cemetery to meet his grandma.
Since then we have made numerous trips to the cemetery with the kids.
They choose flowers for her. They talk to her, and Mr 3 comes up with some very cheeky answers that are 'from grandma'
They know she lives in heaven with the angels, but they know she's still important and that you can still talk to her.
On her birthday last year we made the trip to the cemetery. Miss 5 wanted to make a cake "because it's grandma's birthday!" So I made cupcakes, then Mr3 decided you can't have cake without candles so we brought candles and a lighter and off we went. After a chorus of 'happy birthday' we chomped into the cake and left a cupcake there for grandma. We even let her blow the candles out (thank god for the wind!)
On Mother's Day Grandma Currie also gets a card and last year we even planted a rose bush next to her.
I remember one time the kids made a card and by the next time we visited (about 4 months later) the wet soggy remnants of the card were still there, the kids were absolutely ecstatic!
No matter where your mum or grandma is, try to remember them on Mother's Day. Let your kids have the relationship they need to with their grandma. Even if you think it's silly to take a cupcake to a grave and sing happy birthday and blow out the candles it's an important thing for your children.
Both our kids love both their grandma's....ones just a lot easier to explain than the other. Both relationships are equally important though.
Even though I never met my mother in law and my kids never met their second grandma we all still have our own kind of bond and relationship with her. We may not have play dough and story time with Grandma Currie but we do have photos and stories from Phil. We have our visits to the cemetery and cards, flowers, and cake!
We have memories with a person we never met.
And that's pretty amazing.
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