I'm Not A Good Play Group Mum

I'm not a very good play group mum.

No really, I'm just not made to go to play group.

But that doesn't stop me from going, it just means I'm usually pretty quiet while I'm there.

Why am I a bad play group mum? Well aside from the fact that I ALWAYS forget to bring a plate of food to share, I'm just a different kind of mum.

When we moved to the Pilbara I joined a play group for kids aged 0-2. And while all the mums there are beautiful people, good mums and all doing their best for their children I just can't get past all the bullshit that people will do and believe when trying to raise kids these days.

My first day there a few mums were talking about the type of milk they give their little one.
"I ONLY use a2 milk"
"Well I use the FREE RANGE milk from Harvey Fresh"
"I use lite milk"

I'm sorry but free range milk?!? WTF?!? As far as I know all the Harvey Fresh cows are outside-trust me I've spent a lot of time in Harvey. These people pay a bloody fortune for all their fancy milk.
I always use full cream milk (because it's healthier than lite milk) and better still it's cheaper than all these supposedly 'fancy' milks. Why would you pay so much extra for "free range milk" it's just ridiculous!

But then last week I got my biggest laugh yet. One mum was talking about how her baby was nearly over her 'leap' I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about.

Thankfully another mum didn't know either, so she asked. We were told about this great app for your phone. You enter your baby's DUE DATE not birth date and it tells you about your baby's mental development.
Apparently when they go through these big mental development stages it's called a 'leap'.

But the thing that really gets to me is there is a calendar that counts down to each 'leap' it tells you the behaviour you should see from your child eg;fussing, crying, not sleeping so well, clingy etc. On what is supposed to be the worst day of the leap there is a picture of a storm cloud. The app counts down the days to the leap and then counts down until the leap is over.

I just find this so frustrating. Why do people need an app to tell them when their kids should be having 'good days' and 'bad days'?? Why can't you just look at your baby, take each day as it is and deal with the day as it comes.
I honestly believe that when people say "it's spot on with their behaviour, the dark cloud days as always the worst" it's because they are paying much more attention to the bad bits of the days. To me it's all mind over matter. If someone tells you something bad is coming you over think it, you over prepare, you imagine the worst and then as soon as the baby starts crying or fussing you think "here we go, it's starting now." If you didn't know bad days were coming you would just think "oh you're a little grumpy today"

Counting down the days until your baby's "storm cloud day" or waiting for the "sunshine day" it's bloody stupid. How about you stop fiddling around with you're phone and take your cues from your baby!!!!

Just to see exactly how this whole 'leap' thing worked I downloaded the app and entered Isla's details and well what do you know on her "sunshine day" she was fussy and grumpy and wouldn't sleep and very clingy....so much for being a little ray of sunshine!!!

When did parenting become something that is entirely controlled by mobile phones, apps and expensive 'organic' 'free range' false marketing.
It's like the more expensive the food you provide the better a parent you are.

I also just don't get this whole baby led weaning thing. I'm sorry but WHY do we need to teach baby's from 4months+ to be MORE independent. Aren't children growing up too fast as it is? Why can't we spoon feed our baby's. It's another bonding experience being thrown out the window. Instead we are taught to throw down a couple pieces of food on a high chair and that leaves mum free to be doing more work/housework/time to get pretty.
When Isla is ready for solids I'll be cooking and blending food like I used to and I'll be sitting down playing 'here comes the aeroplane' and laughing as half the food comes dribbling down her chin again. I enjoyed spoon feeding my baby's and damn it I'll be spoon feeding this one too.
I also find starting with baby mush food would likely be healthier. When giving baby's 'real food' there is more temptation to give them a biscuit or a vegemite sandwich or junk food.
Starting with purée it's all mashed veggies and fruits. So baby is getting more of the good stuff and you are less likely to give them unhealthy foods.


So there. I'm not a good mum to have at play group. I have no idea what to talk to other new mums about. I have no interest in spending $4 on a litre of milk, living my life guided by an app, fearing storm cloud days just because my phone says my baby will have a grumpy day. I have no desire to look into new technology for baby monitors-I don't even use them. I can't stand those video monitor ones. Every single person I know that has a video baby monitor sits down with the monitor in their hand/directly in front of their face and spends more time watching than monitor than socialising/eating/cleaning/whatever they are supposed to be doing while baby naps. It's not healthy to be that obsessed. You need time out. You need to just let your baby sleep.

I don't even have my baby sleeping in the same bedroom as me. Day 1 baby was in the cot. Bradley was in the cot straight away too. I found we all slept better in separate rooms. I wasn't waking up to every twitch, squeak and wiggle-which in turns tempts mum/dad to get baby up for a feed/to settle when they probably didn't even need to. And I definitely don't believe in any forms of co-sleeping.

It seems I don't have much in common with most mums.
Our way of parenting used to be the done thing, it was 'just the way things were.' Now people seem over protective, worried, stressed, too dependant on anything labelled "healthy" "organic" "educational" "safe"
Now the way hubby and I parent is considered the weird way.
But anyone that has ever met my kids knows it hasn't done them any harm. In fact our kids are generally sleeping better, eating better and have more respect/boundaries than anyone else's kids we know.
If we say no our kids know we mean business. They don't draw on walls, chuck tantrums (often), steal our phones to play games. They know that some things are out of bounds. We often get comments on how well behaved our kids are, how great it is that they don't steal our phones/iPads and play with them all day, what great sleepers they are and how great it is they aren't too fussy with foods (if they don't eat what they are given then they just don't eat, in our house we ALL eat the same meal, except special occasions).

So if these people are always commenting so positively on our parenting, and complaining that their own children won't do the same, why don't they change their parenting ways??